there’s that thing like “your porn name is your favorite alcoholic drink plus your greatest fear” and like
screwdriver eye injury
please lord help what the fuck who let this happen to me my porn name should not be traumatic i’m…
beer life, aaayyeee
i feel like once you were emo in middle school youre low key emo for the rest of your life, like you could be 20 in the middle of college wearing uggs or whatever but once you hear the first key to the black parade/i write sins/sugar we’re going down you sprout an imaginary fringe and start yelling your lungs out like its 2007 all over again
Imagine finding a dragon egg one day, and it hatches in your house and thinks you’re its mom. Then the next morning you wake up and find this mini dragon has gathered all the lose change and shiny objects in your house in a pile, and is gnawing on a nickel. And then when you take it out for walks, it picks up every coin it sees cause its a hoarder. And your house is eventually full of coins. And you are rich. And have a dragon.